ARGUING WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER

If you are involved in a relationship, you will eventually disagree with your partner. 

Arguing is a normal and healthy part of any relationship because it permits you an opportunity to share your opinions and disagreements. Keeping things inside can lead to stress and other health related issues. 

An argument means a relationship isn’t totally one-sided.  It’s not normal for two people to be so much alike that they don’t ever disagree.  When human emotions are in place, there will always be a difference of opinion.

I have been with my wife for many years and we still argue.  If you watch any television sitcom, the characters always argue.  It’s typical to see an entire episode revolve around a disagreement of opinions.

Arguments can begin over the most trivial matters. For instance, there may be minor arguments over who lost the remote control or as major as wondering why a partner secretly opened a credit card account.

A relationship can be defined by how you argue. When you get angry, is your goal to hurt your partner with unnecessary barbs or to resolve the problem? Hopefully, the latter of the two will be your goal. Here are some ideas for fighting fair with your partner.

• Focus on the disagreement: if arguing over who forgot to pay the phone bill, it’s not necessary to mention a previous disagreement over who forgot to turn on the oven timer and burned dinner a few weeks ago. Stick to the argument!

• Allow your partner to respond to your questions. It’s annoying when someone asks a question and then proceeds to give you the answer.

• Leave out F-Bombs and other profanities. Also, screaming at your partner doesn’t mean they will hear you any better, it will only make them angry.

• Know when to walk away: if the argument is going nowhere and temperatures are rising, just make like Elvis and leave the building.  Consider taking a drive or go for a walk and cool off.

• Keep your hands to yourself: pushing and shoving have no place in a relationship between two people who care for each other.  If you want fighting, turn on a boxing match.

• If the argument comes to a standstill and there is no clear winner, agree to disagree and move on. Life is too short to stay mad at anyone.

• Last but not least: Never go to bed angry at your partner.  Besides, if you go to bed angry at each other, no one will be able to get any sleep.

Try to implement some of these solutions into your next argument and try to remember to fight fair,  not dirty.